I love writing fan letters. Here’s my latest, to that redheaded bottomfeeder in the shallow end of the press pool, Maureen Dowd:
Ms. Dowd:
Boy, you must be running out of ideas. Having finished your fashion commentary on Wesley Clark’s wardrobe, you now become an advice columnist. You begin by saying that Bush wants to become “the national yenta.” But it sounds like you wish you had the job, given your snarky and uncalled-for pronouncements on the quality of Howard Dean’s marriage and the career and physical appearance of Dr. Judith (“crunchy Vermont hippie”) Steinberg.
Who are you to pass judgement on his–or anyone’s–marriage? And sorry, your “fair and balanced” inclusion of the campaign behaviour of Dean’s competitor’s spouses doesn’t excuse you. Your phony concern for Dean’s image, complete with handwringing repeating of the comments of unnamed “political operatives,” masks a barely-concealed condescension. To say–even in jest–that the corrupt and shallow Bush or his appalling supporters on the religious right should give Dr. Dean lessons in marital behavior is beyond the pale.
The last time I checked, Dr. Steinberg wasn’t running for President. Her husband is. If Dean was the type of man who took relationship advice from newspaper staffers, if he suddenly insisted his wife, a professional with her own practice, (and who I’ll wager puts in three times the weekly hours one-on-one with her patients than you do with your coffee mug and laptop) should abandon that practice to fulfil the “exigencies of politics” (that is, the expectations of press types looking for a new target), then you would fault him for that in turn.
Perhaps she’s shunning the “role” of helpmeet because she’s too busy BEING a helpmeet, in a way that obviously suits both her and her husband, and does not rely on the uncreative cheap shots of so-called journalists to help her decide how she is to live her life.
As for Dean, he doesn’t need a “character witness” to “vouch for his core values.” He is quite capable of doing that for himself, thank you very much, and he has. If you had been paying attention at all to the Dean campaign itself, instead of simply repeating the tired conventional wisdom of your colleagues in the echo chamber that passes for the national press, you would see that. But you’d rather just repeat that it’s been “widely reported,” and therefore “fact-esque.”
Oh, no, not one bit, sez MoDo.
Let’s turn this around a moment, shall we? As a columnist for our so-called national paper of record, you are a public figure. So, are you married, Ms. Dowd? And if so, why haven’t you published a photo and bio of your significant other? If you don’t have one, why not? Do you have issues? A “nonconventional lifestyle,” perhaps? Why won’t you voluntarily justify your personal life to us so we can judge its quality according to our predetermined standards, and debate its merits in a public forum, the way you are so eager to do to a woman who plainly values her personal and professional privacy?
Do us NYT readers a favor next time, Ms. Dowd. I know it’s fun being a columnist and all that–it means you can be paid top dollar to piggyback on the work of your colleague Jodi Wilgoren (who at least did some real interviews with Dr. Steinberg for her piece) without leaving your workstation or picking up a phone. But here’s some free advice: try doing some real reporting for a change the next time you write about national affairs. Make an attempt to talk to the people you plan to slander the next time you want to write one of your bitchy little screeds. Then you can at least pretend you are a practicing professional journalist, instead of writing like a high-school gossip columnist who is upset that the captain of the student council won’t smile at her.
Sincerely and constructively,
Sharon
What’s next? Columns on the candidate’s kids? Pets? Table manners? It’s as if the whole country was one big happy suburban neighborhood and Ms. Dowd was the town gossip.
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